Tag Archives: revisions

Revision, Interrupted

The progress I made last week on the second draft of my book has come to a halt. I’ve finished rewriting the first four chapters: A Son’s Victory, Deep Breaths, Diet Coke, Anyone?, and Old Friends & New Lives. And when I’m done with this move (we are currently moving out of the corporate apartment and into our own little place), I will start the revising process once again. I think I’m going to make myself do a half-hour a day. It’s a little goal but once I start writing I usually don’t stop at the half-hour mark. But I set the small goal because I can’t get myself to do it some days. And I’m not usually a procrastinator.

Food for thought: I’m still deciding if I should put the narrator’s name at the beginning of the chapter. If I had three 1st-person narrators, it would make perfect sense (especially for a commercial novel). I’m not trying to confuse anyone here. But I have two 1st-person narrators and a 3rd person omniscient narrator. Obviously, I’m not going to put “3rd-person omniscient” at the beginning of a chapter. That would look dumb.

I say all this because I got some great feedback from an agent (a friend of a friend at Mahalo). He thought the novel was a good story but worried about the challenge of changing narrative voice so often. I’ll be honest: I can’t figure out another way to tell this story. Without the different voices, you can’t get all the story lines. There are so many characters and connections. Without 3rd-person narrator, I can’t link it all together. Without Kylie, you miss out on the main character’s thought process. Without Ben, you miss out on the anecdotes and laughter.


Filed under North Shore / South Shore


I started the actual second draft of North Shore South Shore last night. Well, let me clarify that: the first three chapters are in their third or fourth drafts because I’ve edited, added, moved around stuff for writer’s group or as per writer’s group suggestions.

Last night, I changed two major things. First, I fixed Ben’s first anecdote about Kylie and made more mention of Matt. After all, Kylie is just friends with Ben–that’s it. I can’t be building to something that won’t happen. Ben is such an appealing character that if the reader would root for him to be with Kylie. That’s fixed…I think. Second, I combined two chapters so that the scene where¬† my character meet at the elevator in CSU is one block. I had it divided but I think it’s better this way. I’ve been building to this scene for long enough. Plus, it’s the scene that incites the rest of the plot. The trial, Ben’s anecdotes, Kylie’s life as “Styles Baptiste”–they’re all spicy side-plots.

I feel good that I got to work on it again. Finally.


Filed under North Shore / South Shore