I went into this process with no expectations. I think I would be happy just to have my family members and friends reading my book on the Kindle (or their chosen electronic device) and telling me that it was indeed “good.” A work friend of my mom’s, perhaps, could say that she was “really into it.” A student I used to teach might say “I read the whole thing in like three days.” I really believe that might be enough. I’ve never identified myself as a career writer so I have only a medium amount of emotional stock in this process. I’m an English teacher. I have two Masters degrees to prove it. Not an novelist. I just happened to write a book.
Until I started querying agents…
So far I’ve queried exactly 100 literary agents. I find myself looking for a few minutes here and there so I can check my database, quickly cut and paste the query letter (and maybe a few chapters), and send it off to another possible agent. Also, and this is more annoying-yet-unstoppable, I find myself checking email obsessively. Even every few minutes.
Refresh.
Refresh.
Be an email from an agent asking to see more–not an email from Nordstrom offering 25% off Marc by Marc Jacobs.
I have gotten some feedback. Three agents asked to see partial manuscripts and one agent asked to see the full manuscript. That request for a full manuscript sent me off the edge. I was just about to feed the baby dinner when I got it. I found myself frantically microwaving Dr. Praeger’s broccoli pancakes and calling my husband (not picking up), my mother (not picking up), ANYONE! Thus, the all caps tweet a few days ago. I had to tell the world. (Mom called a few minutes later. Then C.K. too.)
Of course I’ve heard nothing since then. Oh, the emotional trials!