Tag Archives: kylie baines

Kickstarter Complete: 5 Lessons Learned

This week I sent off the last of it–my limited edition novels funded by my KICKSTARTER backers. Those who paid $25 or more received signed copies. Now that I have some space from the project as a whole, I thought I’d share some tips for those launching KICKSTARTER book projects of their own.

1. Do lots of research first. I mean this both in the empirical way and the soul searching way. I looked at many (MANY) kickstarter projects for books. I saw what others were charging and what rewards people were getting. I focused on successful projects or projects that were almost over and had most of their funding. I also thought a lot about what creative concessions I was willing to make. For example, I offered to change a character’s name for $1,000. You may not want to do that. Some other campaigns (mostly ones for fantasy chap books) offered to let backers decide plot points. That was NOT something I wanted to do. I make all plot decisions.

2. If you can complete your project with less money, raise less money. You can always do an extension. I raised 5,000 for my campaign. Other book campaigns were about that much. Friends who had successful projects said that was a good number and I could raise it. But let me tell you, that last week getting from $4,000 to $5,000 was STRESSFUL. By the last week, I was second-guessing the goal. And you can’t change the goal or the time frame once you set it. And as KICKSTARTER reminds you every step of the way, if you don’t receive full funding, you don’t get anything. Take that to heart. (Sidenote: I’m sure you can tell from the above paragraph that I’m not a business major/math-minded person. I know. I’ve been aware of this for awhile. Maybe I should’ve engaged one of my friends who doesn’t suck at math to help. Might have saved some money on TUMS that last week too.)

3. Utilize the talented people in your life. It takes a village. I mean, that’s basically the guiding concept behind KICKSTARTER, right? I got so many compliments on my kickstarter video. And it wouldn’t have been half as entertaining if I didn’t have a talented husband to film and edit it. My video was a short bit about why I need the money then outtakes of me screwing up. In short, C.K. made me look much more charming than I actually am. One thing I wish I did: get someone do create concept art. Like a picture of the main character. If I could do it all again, I would’ve called in some favors on that front. Maybe even make postcards printed with the art. That way  I could’ve given something tangible to the people who backed me for less than $25. There are lots of folks out there who don’t want another paperback, especially those who have transitioned fully to eReaders. But those people still want to support you and everyone likes getting postcards. (Right?)

Shipment from Publisher’s Graphics

4. Do the campaign in a month. No one wants to think about your kickstarter campaign for more than that. Start revving up interest prior to when the campaign starts (blog posts, facebook updates, tweets), but the actual “I need your money to make my dreams happen” shouldn’t be in people’s feeds for more than a month.

5. Order extras. I’m using the extras for giveaways on goodreads.com and my facebook page. I also had ten requests for full manuscripts from lit agents. No one offered representation because they didn’t think that North Shore South Shore had a traditional niche market. My novel is about emerging adults–a relatively new literary market that appeals to readers between YA and Adult fiction. Agents just couldn’t picture it. I’ll be sending some of these agents copies to help them do just that and prove that the novel is indeed sellable.

Special thanks to…all of my kickstarter backers, C.K. Sample, Glen Edelstein (cover design), Publishers’ Graphics, all my friends who tweeted or shared on facebook, and the good people at KICKSTARTER for accepting my project.

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In the First Person

Many of you already know from the sample chapters provided on this site that my novel is told in first person. In fact, other than the prologue, the novel alternates between four points of view: Kylie Baines, Ben Carrick, Colette Baptiste, and Matt Tracy. I chose to tell the story this way because while the characters’ fates are intertwined and rich in history, they all drift in their own particular orbits. I needed four narrators to move the plot along as well. And I hope with this last edit that I’ve sharpened each narrative voice so that it’s entertaining for the reader, not distracting.

They all bring different qualities to the table. Kylie is leading a double life and the story revolves around her family, romantic relationships, etc. It’s completely neccessary that the reader see her perspective. Ben is more lighthearted and tells anecdotes about the friends in high school. Kylie would never tell an anecdote for sheer amusement but Ben seems genuinely interested in getting the group back together (like the good ole days) and therefore he easily dips into an idealized, slightly romanticized past. Colette, as Kylie’s cousin and the daughter of kingpin Denis Baptiste, is essential to the plot. She provides insights into the Baptiste family and fills in some of Kylie’s background (the time after high school but before the start of the novel). But Colette is spoiled rotten so she has none of Kylie’s seriousness.

And then there’s Matt Tracy. He was the last narrator I wrote into the story. I did so at the behest of a writer’s group I attended with C.K. when we lived in Santa Monica. Perhaps because Matt was the last narrative voice to take shape or perhaps because adding him was not my idea, he’s been the most difficult narrator for me. With the other three characters, I hear them in my head easily. Sometimes it takes a few hours to get a dialogue down and then several more to tighten it up but I always know what Kylie’s, Colette’s, and Ben’s take on the situation is going to be. Kylie will feel the gravity of the scene intensely and over-analyze her own part in it. Colette will dismiss anything that would require emotional maturity then feel guilty for doing so, all while cracking jokes about the other characters. Ben will feel the scene more acutely than Colette but he really doesn’t have much at stake. He’s happily engaged and about to start his Masters program. But Matt is a strong, silent type. It’s challenging to give a voice to someone who would prefer not to chime in.

I say all this because three of the full manuscript requests came back as “thanks but no thanks.” Actually, I shouldn’t make it sound so cavalier. The agents took the time to give some great feedback that extended beyond “it just didn’t fire me up to sell it.” One of the main critiques is about the narration. One agent said that towards the end of the book, my narrators seem fashioned from the same cloth. It’s a fair critique and I worked hard these past few weeks to rectify it. I think I owe this agent a thank you. I believe I have a more polished book now. But another agent said that she didn’t like the first person narrators switching all the time. She wanted to invest in one person and hear the whole thing from his/her point of view.


All this got me wondering: should I have written this book in the omniscient third person? Or even limited third person and used Kylie’s POV?

Personally, I like first-person narration. It’s one distinct voice. I don’t have to like the narrator or want to talk to him/her. But I’m more excited to read the book if I do sympathize with the narrator. I also enjoy the changing perspectives. The Help and Gone Girl are good examples. For the former, I loved all three narrators. For the latter, I’m only a few chapters in but I don’t like anyone yet. But that doesn’t mean I don’t like the story so far.

Third person narration is fine but in my reading experience, the author needs to chose one character to focus on. Furthermore, the limited third person often clumsily dips into other character’s minds. Even the goddess of novel writing, Jane Austen, does this. I taught Pride and Prejudice several times at high school level and reread it each time. In the beginning of the novel, when I’m supposed to dislike Darcy along with everyone else in Meryton, I get glimpses of his feelings for Elizabeth and I feel a little cheated of the big reveal.


But I digress. I’m really writing this to find out what other readers think.

Do you like first-person narration or third? And why? 

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The Third Chapter…Meet Ben Carrick

Here’s my favorite guy! Ben Carrick! I love this narrator. I think I created someone that I’d want to be friends with. He’s getting married to my love interest Matt’s sister. And he’s known everyone since high school. So he likes to tell stories.Incidentally, he’s my sister’s favorite too.

Chapter 3

Diet Coke, Anyone?


“Man, this elevator takes so damn long.” Taylor whined. This kid was always whining about something. Ever since high school. We had been waiting on the fifth floor of Darcy Hall for all of three minutes.

“You think that went well?” I said. I was preoccupied about the meeting I just had with the head of CSU’s English department. I really wanted to get into their MFA program for fiction writing.

“Ben, I think you’ll get in. Your dad’s Desmond Carrick. I’m surprised there isn’t a building named after him here. They should use some of that dinero to get new elevators.” Taylor laughed then he had some kind of epiphany, “Ben! Do you know who goes here? I just figured it out.”


“Man, where is this elevator? We could have taken the stairs like ten times.”

“Dude–FOCUS. Who?”

“Kylie Baines. Kylie Baines.” Taylor hit me in the arm then pushed the elevator button a few more times. “Kylie Bah—.”

“That won’t make it get here any faster.” After Taylor mentioned Kylie, his antics irritated me more than usual. This guy needed to calm down. Holy shit. She did go to CSU. One of my best friends and I didn’t even remember where she went to college. Well, best friends once upon a time.

I met Kylie back in high school—around the same time I met my fiancé. We went to school on Long Island. Not the same school though. I went to Chancellor High. All boys filled with raging hormones and no girls to interact with, no girls to help make us men. Mostly male teachers—assholes. Too tough on us if you ask me.

It was definitely one of those schools that you hated and resented while you were there, but when you left, it was a different story.  I proudly wear my class ring now. In fact, I got a great deal on a new Benz CLK just last week because of it.

The elevator door finally opened. Taylor jumped in and started pressing “Close Door” before I could even move.

“Yo, can I drive back?”

“Taylor, I got the car yesterday.”

“So? Help a guy out, Ben. Come on. My dad gets me a fucking pre-owned Lexus and you get a brand new Mercedes…for what?” The elevator stopped a few floors down to let some more people on, and Taylor’s shouting trailed off into a tense whisper, “For quitting school in England and coming here?”

“My dad probably paid the same amount for my Benz as your dad paid for your Lexus, or at least close.”

“Yeah, right.”

He didn’t believe me. In fact I’m not sure how much the car was. But Dad said he got a deal and I have Chancellor freaking High School to thank for it. I was lurking around one of the nicer cars in the Mercedes Benz showroom with my dad when the salesman eyed the Chancellor’s crest on the ring and asked what year I graduated. Turns out, he had a son that just graduated and a son that was going into his sophomore year.

We got to talking and he said how he loved the school because it was so disciplined and blah blah blah. He said he wished he lived on Long Island when he was growing up because he knew that his parents would have sent him to Chancellor and blah blah blah. Of course, Brooklyn had some good schools. He went to a great school. Had I heard of it? It’s getting closed down. Shame. So many good Catholic schools getting closed down. What a damn shame.

But, all my bullshitting with this salesman (and my class ring) paid off and soon enough I was getting a pretty sweet deal. I was thinking of maybe getting the car in navy blue. I always see CLKs in white or silver. The salesman looked at me and patted me on the back. He gave me that look of solidarity—that type of ethnic / religious / similar background solidarity (whatever you want to call it). I always find these looks amusing because I’m not a Catholic. I just went to the best all-boys school on Long Island. Chancellor just happened to be a Catholic school.

Let me clarify. My mother is Jewish and my father is Catholic. That explains my name. Benjamin Carrick.  I was brought up kind of Jewish with some Catholic thrown in. My mom tried to get us to follow all the Jewish traditions, but she gave up. Not that she was totally broken up about it. No one could ever accuse Mara Carrick of being a devout Jew. I just think that neither she nor my dad wanted to bend on the religion thing. Yet, I don’t think I’ve ever seen my mom go to temple by herself or my dad go to mass (you know, other than Christmas or Easter).  My dad is one of those “microwave” Catholics. You know what I mean.

Still, I get gifts on Christmas and Hanukah, so that means I get the best of both worlds, right? I definitely like the Catholic holidays better—anyone who has sat through a Seder at my grandmother’s house would probably feel the same.  I really don’t believe that Jesus was the Son of God though. Seems like he was a cool enough guy to make me want to celebrate his birthday. I don’t know. So, I don’t think about it.

Okay, now I’m getting tangential—as Siobhan would say. That’s a good word. Tangential. “Use it three times and it’s yours!” I can hear her voice in my head right now. My fiancé is trying to help me increase my vocabulary so I subscribe to this website that sends me a new word every day. Today was “juggernaut” (by the way, when the hell would you use juggernaut?) The day before yesterday was “tangential.” I don’t even remember yesterday’s word.

“Dude, I swear if you go to school here, you should plan an extra hour just for the elevator to make sure you get to class on time.” Taylor broke in again. He kept lifting his heels, popping up and down.

“And you care that I get to class on time?”

The elevator doors opened on the first floor. I had just forgotten that Kylie Baines goes to school here too and there she was. When I saw her, I was stunned for a moment. A little scared even. But then I remembered it wasn’t me she hated. And it wasn’t Taylor either. I was pretty happy just then that my fiance’s brother Matt wasn’t standing with us. That would have been awkward. What do you say to someone who used to be one of your best friends? Especially with the way Matt broke things off.

Immediately I thought of the first time I met Kylie. We were at a dance my freshmen year of high school at Chancellor. My friends were the biggest dorks. I remember my tie had Sylvester and Tweety on it. We were required to wear khakis or suit pants, loafers, and a man-tailored shirt to all school functions. But to the dances, we didn’t have to wear the school tie or any tie for that matter. My mom insisted that I wear one though. She hated the way man-tailored shirts looked without a tie. So, I insisted that the tie be my Looney Tunes one—an even trade I think.

I was pretty nervous. I mean, I had met Siobhan before but she looked incredible that night. And Kylie looked great too. Kylie always looked older than all of us. She could have passed for a junior or a senior. And we were all dorky freshmen. When I started realizing that I would have to talk to these girls, I got all sweaty. I definitely remember thinking how the night probably would have been better if I sat home and played video games with my younger brother Adam.

Kylie and Siobhan spent most of the night hanging out with Bret Dillon. Bret was a freshman like us but he was built like he was in college. So my chances of getting with Siobhan were crappy.

The one time I did get to talk to Siobhan all I could muster up the confidence to say was, “Too bad they don’t have Diet Coke, right?” We were standing at a card table covered with a plastic tablecloth and Dixie cups full of sodas. I can’t believe that’s the most suave thing I could think of to say.

“Too bad they don’t have Diet Coke, right?”

“Yeah, too bad.” Siobhan made a face at Kylie like, Oh don’t mind my brother’s idiot friend, Ben  He’s slightly retarded. Then she looked back at me like, When are you going away? After a pause, she just said “Yeah, I guess I’ll have to drink full-calorie soda tonight.” Then she went over to another group of kids.

What was she supposed to say to that? Furthermore, what was I suggesting? All girls obviously drink Diet Coke? Clearly, she would want Diet Coke because she needs to lose a few (which she didn’t). Even today, Siobhan is one of the skinniest girls I know. I swear if my fiancé turns sideways, she might disappear.

“You drink Diet Coke too?,” Kylie smiled, willing to chat for a moment with the kid in the Looney Tunes tie.

“Yeah, it’s all my mom ever buys. I never really had Coke so now when I have to drink it, it just tastes too sweet. I think my mom put it in my bottle as a baby” I’m embarrassed right now as I retell this. What an ass I was. But Kylie played along. She totally saved me.

“Me too. That’s so funny. My mom never buys anything but Crystal Light and Diet Coke. You know…other than milk and orange juice and stuff.”

Was her mother a rich Jewish woman who only wears track suits and spends most of her day doing aerobics videos? I couldn’t tell at that point. The conversation didn’t go much further.

Siobhan came back over to rescue her friend. “So are you having fun, Ben?” Siobhan asked. Maybe after Kylie and I talked, she was more comfortable. Or she just realized she wouldn’t look uncool if she was polite to me.

“Uh, well, I guess,” I rolled my eyes. I totally blew it.  I tried to feign indifference about the situation, the dance, the lack of Diet Coke, her, but she caught on. Siobhan walked away, back to the herd of OLV girls.

“Okay, so maybe I’ll see you later. Good luck with the soda, Ben.” Kylie looked back at Siobhan then smiled back at me.

I had nothing. I wanted to step back about three minutes and rethink that roll of the eyes. I learned that night that pretending not to be interested in someone you really are interested in never works out. When you like someone, you have to just go for it.


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The first chapter…Meet Kylie Baines

Below is the first chapter of my novel. It’s told by Kylie Baines–pretty much the main character as most of the action revolves around her. She’s trying to finish her last year of college while helping run the family businesses. Except her family doesn’t exactly own restaurants or veterinarian clinics. They dabble in all kinds of business, anything they want to make their business really. Kylie has just found out that her uncle (the head of the family) was arrested this morning. To make matters worse, she received a found call from her uncle’s eldest son–the man who happens to be an Asst. District Attorney. So, her uncle is about to be taken down by his own son.

Chapter 1

Deep Breaths



After I hung up the phone, I sat in my car and stared for a moment—trapped in the replay of the conversation that just happened. I hate when life feels like it’s happening to you. You’re not living it. You’re just being rolled over by its events. And all you can do is stand outside yourself and watch—like you’re in a movie or TV show or something. That’s how I feel sometimes—blurry and surreal.

My mom called as I started walking to Darcy Hall, already fifteen minutes late for my meeting with Professor Barnes.  Mom was the last person I wanted to talk to. And, of course, I immediately felt guilty for the big sigh I let out when I heard her worried voice on the other end. I wouldn’t have even answered but it was too late. Between the juggling of my bag and my many layers of clothing, I forgot to look at the caller I.D. And I was hoping it was my cousin Blaise calling. Not that Blaise was the type to have a plan, but at least I could commiserate with him about our situation.

To make things worse I made the stupid mistake of telling her that Brice had called me. Before she called she was just worried about my uncle’s arrest. Now her concern had at least doubled. I was sure she was just sitting there thinking that I would be arrested that day too. Even I was panicking about that. As I walked quickly up the endless row of cars, my eyes darted between the many potholes in CSU’s student lot and the lot’s entrance. I was sure there would be multiple NYPD squad cars followed by Channel 5 News trucks speeding in any second.

Then something else grabbed my attention. I saw another Mercedes CLK—this time in navy blue. I had never seen another car like that in the student lot. Like a Benz or Jaguar or Beamer. It was brand-new too. Most students drove little Hondas or old SUVs their parents gave them. No one takes a car like that into this part of the Bronx. I looked back at my own CLK and regretted how dirty it was. (Should’ve never gotten the car in white.)

After walking a few minutes I felt slightly better.  Better considering that I just found out my uncle had been arrested, my thickheaded egomaniacal cousin was probably going to prosecute his own father, I would probably be called in to testify, and I was late for school—the only semblance of normality in my life. To top it all off, I just basically hung up on my mom who was only calling to make sure I was okay. I think it was just numbness from the cold instead of actually feeling better. My mind was still everywhere.  I just had to calm down.

Breathe in.

I felt the crisp November air flow into my nose. This week the wind was assaulting compared to the fifty-degrees and partly sunny we had last week. It whirled around and pushed against my steps, making me take notice of it like an annoying younger sibling.

When my life feels like it’s going to shit, I sometimes focus on my breathing.  It gives me something steady to concentrate on, even if it’s just for a few minutes. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not some kind of yoga guru who meditates all the time. And I know it’s cheesy but when I think about my breathing, suddenly I become aware of my life in a different way. I feel solitary, but not in a self-pitying way.  Not isolated, just solitary.

My bag got gradually heavier on the long walk to Darcy Hall on the other side of campus, almost to the new library. I switched it to the other shoulder and now the monogram faced inward and laid up against the side of my body. I thought about that monogram for a moment. KCB. Kylie Carine Baines. I was suddenly glad that my real last name wasn’t Baptiste. But then I realized…it doesn’t matter anyway. No one knew me as Kylie Baines, daughter of a school district superintendent Patrick Baines. I was Styles Baptiste, the niece of Denis Baptiste, Jr. who ran one of the biggest crime families in New York.

Then I thought about whose bright idea it was for me to change my name. Mark said it would be great for our club. The name “Baptiste” would bring everyone in. And it did. And for a while, things worked out great.

Mark Esposito. That name came slithering out of the corners of my mind since Brice called this morning. And now it had made its way to the bottom of my stomach where it contorted around and wringed out my energy. I had no nostalgic feelings towards my ex-boyfriend. A lot had happened since we opened that club.

But I shouldn’t be wasting my time on Mark and the past. I needed to keep my head on straight. I had a lot to take care of with school, and a lot more to take care of when I got home. Thinking about my ex was the last thing I needed to do. I decided to call my cousin Blaise to find out the latest details.

Yo, it’s Blaise. You know the drill.

I’ve always hated his stupid voicemail message. I stopped in my tracks and nearly growled. I couldn’t believe he wasn’t answering his phone. There was a good chance that while my uncle was arrested he was in the shower. Shit, there was a good chance my cousin was still in the shower. And he wonders why Uncle Denis has me take care of the important stuff.

I called Vinnie instead. He was one of our most trusted employees. On the surface he was just a manager at The Saddle, the strip club my uncle owns on the Lower West Side. But, he did a lot more than that.


“Vinnie, where’s Blaise?”

“Not sure.”

“You need to find Blaise. Make sure he’s calm. Then tell him to liquidate the two accounts in the Bahamas. He knows which name to use. He has to start on this before they freeze it. Also, tell him not to call Andy Schwartzman. The D.A. will expect him to represent us. But, we’ll be using…”

“Not Andy. He always…”

“Don’t ask fucking questions, Vin.” Vinnie was about ten years older than me. I trusted him but our working relationship was strained sometimes. It was hard taking orders from a 21-year-old girl. But Vin never went any further than the occasional question. “I don’t think you know how serious this is. Brice fucking called me. The prick called me to throw this in my face. And you know why he’s so happy? Because they have Mark.”

“Shit, they have Mark?”

“Just tell Blaise to get in touch with Sal. And tell him to call me…later. And tell him not to make a big deal about meeting Sal. Discreet. Not like how he did the trucking deal…And make him think all this was his idea.”

Vin laughed a little at that last one. “Take care, Styles. Don’t worry about it, okay? Relax.”

“Yeah. Relax. Maybe next year.”

I didn’t realize it but there were two students walking about five or six feet behind me. Barking orders on a cell phone wasn’t exactly blending in on a day like today. I looked over my shoulder, but they were deep in conversation about some party going on this weekend.

Just as my fingers started to turn white from the chilled air, I turned the corner and saw Darcy Hall. It was one of the older buildings on campus.  In the middle of the big city, CSU was a little piece of ivied academia, a little beacon of knowledge and wisdom or so it would seem. I liked being there—I didn’t have to worry about anything else but school. I wasn’t Styles Baptiste there.

When I got inside Darcy Hall, I peered into every classroom as I walked down the newly renovated hallway. Everything inside was brightly lit—in a nauseatingly radioactive way. As I walked past, I turned my head as far as it would go to see every bit of the classroom without having to halt my stroll to the elevator.

At the elevator—another deep breath. I looked at the floor in front of me and shifted my weight from side to side. Late, yet again, for an internship with Professor Barnes I fought so hard to get. Maybe I should stop pretending like I’m a college student and just work for my uncle full time. At least I’m good at that.


Filed under North Shore / South Shore

Prologue to my novel

Without further ado, here is the prologue to my novel North Shore / South Shore. I’m about halfway through creating the final manuscript. I know I’ve been complaining about the editing on Facebook…pretty much every day. So, here’s what I’ve been working on. The Prologue is the only time I use an omniscient narrator. The rest of the novel is told by four different people.


A Son’s Victory

It’s 9:30 a.m. which means it’s time for your local news. Denis Baptiste, Jr. was arrested while exiting his Westside apartment today.

The words sliced through the quiet Kylie had enjoyed during her drive to school. The voice from the radio continued. Prosecutors are confident that this time they will succeed in their efforts to bring justice to the head of the Baptiste family, something they couldn’t do when Denis Baptiste, Sr. was alive.  We have this comment from the District Attorney, “We took a very powerful, very dangerous man off the streets of New York City today. I hope this sends a message to anyone involved in organized crime.  The charges will stick this time. The Baptiste family can count on it.” Counsel for the Baptiste family had no comment as of yet. And now with our weather, Bobby Jensen. Bobby. Thanks, Jim. Well, it is definitely getting colder. Winter is com

Kylie pulled into a parking spot in Christ the Savior University’s student lot and turned off the radio. She took a deep breath and told herself (unconvincingly) that everything would be fine. She thought of calling the lawyers, but then she figured she would call her Aunt Erica first. Or maybe she would just wait until someone called her.

She yanked off her new calfskin gloves and threw them on the passenger seat. Then she let her head drop back onto the unforgiving cushion of the headrest. Kylie turned her head gently and let her eyes fall on the gloves sitting in a small lifeless pile. One of her Uncle’s friends had given them to her, a man who went by the name “Diablo.” Kylie had met him this past summer and since then they dated on and off. As she looked at the pair of gloves beside here, Kylie wondered what part he would play in this mess.

She turned her head back to center and took another deep breath. The last time her uncle was arrested she was a kid—and at that time, she didn’t understand the gravity of the situation. Kylie didn’t care too much about it either. She was told that the family wouldn’t be going to Aunt Erica’s and Uncle Denis’s for the annual Labor Day barbeque. No explanation followed. She whined a bit about not seeing her cousin Colette, but her mother offered no reason as to why there was no party.

Kylie loved playing with Colette. And on Labor Day, the entire family played in a Mille Bournes tournament. The card game was one of the few elements of French culture that peppered her family life. And that’s not saying much. Even still, Kylie bragged to her friends at school about the card game. The other kids looked puzzled when she barely knew how to play Uno. “Don’t you have this at home?” they asked.

“Sure, we do.” Kylie answered—always sure of herself (even when she wasn’t sure of herself). “But we don’t play that. We play,” she paused before saying the name with the best French accent she could muster, hoping to sound just like her grandmother, “Mille Bournes…It’s a French game.”

As she stared blanky at the car parked opposite hers, Kylie smiled recalling the many fun times she had with Colette. She smirked a little thinking about how Colette never played by the rules. In a game of Parcheesi, Kylie’s cousin wanted to use the small pieces to play “nail salon” instead. Kylie’s older brother Collin would find them downstairs with red, blue, yellow, and green plastic game pieces stuck to the ends of their fingers.

But the slight levity those memories conjured quickly turned to concern for Colette. How was she dealing with the news? After all,  her father was arrested and not Kylie’s.

Then she thought once more about Uncle Denis’s first arrest. Kylie wondered what Colette was told when her father was taken from his home in handcuffs. She had one distinct memory of that time. She could picture it vividly in her mind.  The night before her first day in the third grade, Kylie came downstairs and saw her mother and Aunt Erica fighting, yelling at each other. Her father saw that she was standing at the bottom of the staircase,  “Go to your room and put the television on. I’ll be up in a minute.” It was a few hours before he came up. When he did, Kylie’s father told her that nothing was wrong. “Mommy and Aunt Erica are just talking about…grown-up stuff. That’s all.” She believed him like she always had. Before Kylie knew it, third grade was finished, summer came, and the family was going to her Uncle’s house. All was well again. But the Baptistes rarely spoke of it to their children.

Kylie felt that same helplessness now that she felt at the bottom of the stairs that night. The sense that something was dreadfully wrong and there was no way to fix it. Except this time, Patrick Baines wasn’t there to assure her everything was fine. And this time, she was old enough to know that if he was there, he’d be lying.

Kylie looked down and she was glad she still had on her seatbelt. Even though she’d been parked for at least ten minutes, the belt across her lap and chest made her feel less dizzy. Kylie put her hand up to the driver’s side window. The glass was cold from the November air and it felt good on the bare skin of her palm. Then the loud ring of her cell phone scared her.  She didn’t even look at the caller I.D.

“Hello?” Her voice cracked and she took a big swallow to compensate.

“It’s Brice, Kylie.” Her cousin said curtly.

“Brice?” Her voice rose an octave from the shock. Kylie wondered why he was calling. She was expecting her mother, or her aunt or Colette or even her cousin Blaise. This wouldn’t be good.

“Yes, Kylie. It’s Brice. Have you heard yet?” His strong voice was unpleasantly businesslike.

“Of course, I’ve heard. But I’m sure you were the first to know.” Kylie was already on the defensive. Brice was only calling to gloat.

He continued smugly, “Good. They took my father to the 20th precinct on West 82nd Street. He’ll be held there until the hearing tomorrow.  We are going to move very fast on this. We have all the information we need for a quick trial.”

This was a proud day for Brice Baptiste. Kylie knew he meant to purge this city of its vices—even if it meant taking down his own father. He was clearly buoyant from his father’s arrest. He was self-satisfied and relishing his decision to call his father’s favorite niece.

“We? What does that mean Brice?” Kylie shook her head and nervously loosened her scarf. The morning was getting worse by the minute.

“Of course, I mean ‘my office.’ I’m not getting involved in this case. It’s a conflict of interest. The judge would never stand for it. And the D.A. is not risking anything. We’re getting our conviction this time.”

“Is that all?” Kylie’s jaw tightened as she realized that the D.A. actually might have a good chance with Brice masterminding the whole case. Brice had all his father’s cleverness, all his father’s ruthlessness, and none of his father’s loyalty.

“Don’t act like you’re surprised he was arrested. The man is a murderer, Kylie.” Brice spit the words out at her, full of resentment.

“Brice, the man is your father.”

“You don’t choose your father.” He snapped.

“It’s too bad you can’t choose your children either.” Kylie returned. Despite Brice being such an awful prick, she never thought he would be involved in building a case against his own family. She assumed he would make some comment to the press explaining how difficult his position was—probably trying to get the people on the prosecution’s side. She imagined his insufferably pedantic voice as he said how patriotic he was, how invested in the judicial system he was, how much he cared for the city.

“Listen, Kylie, this is big boy stuff. A little college girl like you wouldn’t really understand my situation right now, so let’s not fight. I never had anything against you. We’re family.”

“Oh, I’d love to understand your situation.” she returned sarcastically. “I’d love to know what would possess someone to destroy his own family. Congrats on being the world’s biggest asshole!”

He switched to a strong whisper. “Settle down. Like I said, I’m not involved with this case.”

“Whatever. Why did you call?” Kylie rolled her eyes and gripped the steering wheel with both hands until her knuckles turned white.

“Hey, I am doing you a favor by calling you like this. I’m calling from my office and everything. Do you know how much trouble I could get into? I’m trying to help my cousin before she makes any stupid decisions.”

“I’m not sure I want any of your favors.”

“Fine, I’ll get to the point. I have other things to do today anyway. I’m calling to tell you to cooperate with us. I can get you and Blaise out of this. If you don’t, well, let’s just say, it won’t be good. Like I said, we have plenty of information.” His voice sounded like he took pleasure in telling her this, a sadistic threatening pleasure.

“Are you saying you’re going to have me and Blaise arrested?” Kylie sat up in the driver’s seat. Her anger diluted by fear now.

“No one is saying anything.” He was always good at being vague. She always thought he spoke like that because he was too cowardly to take a real position on anything.

“No, Assistant District Attorney Brice Baptiste, you seem to be telling me that I am going to get arrested for shit I had nothing to do with!” As she yelled, Kylie felt the blood fill the fair skin of her neck and face,  “I didn’t do anything wrong!  And neither has Uncle Denis. Maybe he’s made some mistakes in the past but today—today, you’re the one who made the mistake!” Kylie didn’t even understand herself by that point. She was totally consumed by the weird mixture of hatred and anxiety. If the D.A.’s office had found Mark, maybe Brice was on to something.

“Listen, you little brat, you can’t threaten me. I’m the one who’s taking names today.”

“I’m not threatening you Brice. Facts aren’t threats.” Kylie’s mind had left the conversation though. Now all she could think about was her ex-boyfriend Mark. Where was he? Did the D.A. have him? What would he say about her, about her whole family?

“Ya know, I thought I was being nice. But now I see that you are an ungrateful little bitch. A brat, just like Blaise.  I’ll just say this. My father is going to drop this time. We have what we need to convict him. And the D.A. is going for life. You and my brother—you’re both just sport.  So, just make sure you cooperate with everything we say and maybe… maybe you can come out of this unscathed.”

“Where’d all this information you’re talking about come from?” Kylie’s voice was shaky, anticipating the name “Mark Esposito” in Brice’s answer.

“Obviously, I’m not at liberty to discuss that with one of the most important people under investigation. At least not without your lawyer present, Kylie. Or shall I say, ‘Styles’?”

Hearing her nickname hit a nerve. Kylie knew that although he’d never admit it to her, Brice always resented that she had some control in the family business, that she was one of his father’s most trusted employees.

“Fuck you, Brice. You know where I am. You know where I’ll be tomorrow and the next day. Just bring whatever you have on me. And I’ll deal with it.”

“That’s a potty mouth you got there, cousin. This will be a true test for you, Kylie. I sincerely hope you make it through.”

“Fuck you, Brice.”

“You said that already, my dear.” He was snickering.

“I guess it just feels good to tell you to go fuck yourself.” She hung up her phone and threw it down on the passenger seat. It bounced and landed somewhere on the floor.

Kylie slammed her hands on her steering wheel and yelled, “Shit!” Tears came to her eyes and fogged up her sunglasses. She dropped her head on the wheel and began to let herself cry, but once she surrendered herself to the tears, they wouldn’t come. She breathed deeply for a minute, trying to shake Brice’s words. She undid her scarf, turned the car back on and turned the air conditioning on. She didn’t care how cold it was outside right now. Kylie let the cool blast run over her neck and face as if it would wash away the redness in her cheeks.

After a few more big sighs, she felt a little better.


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Prologue of North Shore / South Shore

Yes, I have a prologue. I think the first thing you might notice is that it’s not in Middle English like Chaucer’s. Oh good one! What an English nerd joke!

Anyway, I put the family tree (it’s a big family drama, think Dallas, that focuses on the lives of these old high school friends, think The O.C., who are now reunited during their college years). And then there’s the prologue which is written in third-person.

Sorry about the alignment of the text. I had to align it center so the family tree wouldn’t look odd. But I can’t get the body of the prologue to align left justified. Oh well…

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Revisions, Resumed

I started revising again. It feels good to get back in the groove. It’s amazing how far I’ve come (over 100,000 words and a completed story) and yet daunting because I have so far to go. The novel is in no way ready to be shopped around yet. I have some excellent connections but I don’t want to use them if it’s not ready.

Here’s what I’m playing with: no more 3rd person narrator and adding other narrators (namely adding Kylie’s love interest Matt and Kylie’s cousin Colette). That way I can just label all the chapters and hopefully they will blend into each other more seamlessly. Right now I’ve got Kylie, Ben and 3rd P. Kylie is the main character so hearing from her is important. Her decisions and what happens to her are the crux of my story. Ben is my strongest narrator–he’s funny, tangential, very Holden Caufield (sp?). His role in the main plot is rather secondary (a supporting actor if you will) but he gives a lot of background information.

If I added Matt, he would have to be much different than Ben. I think his voice would be straight-forward and a little brooding. I think his language would be more economical (the way he tends to communicate in the story). But, we can’t know too much of what’s going on in his mind because that’s half the fun of the plot–not knowing whether he and Kylie will get back together.

If I added Colette, she’d be female version of Ben. However, she’d provide details about Kylie’s life as Styles Baptiste, an employee of her infamous uncle.

Back to work…

This has nothing to do with my novel — RIP Roxy (my aunt’s awesome bulldogs whose farts smelled like aluminum foil).

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I started the actual second draft of North Shore South Shore last night. Well, let me clarify that: the first three chapters are in their third or fourth drafts because I’ve edited, added, moved around stuff for writer’s group or as per writer’s group suggestions.

Last night, I changed two major things. First, I fixed Ben’s first anecdote about Kylie and made more mention of Matt. After all, Kylie is just friends with Ben–that’s it. I can’t be building to something that won’t happen. Ben is such an appealing character that if the reader would root for him to be with Kylie. That’s fixed…I think. Second, I combined two chapters so that the scene where  my character meet at the elevator in CSU is one block. I had it divided but I think it’s better this way. I’ve been building to this scene for long enough. Plus, it’s the scene that incites the rest of the plot. The trial, Ben’s anecdotes, Kylie’s life as “Styles Baptiste”–they’re all spicy side-plots.

I feel good that I got to work on it again. Finally.


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