Written by Kristin Sample on March 28, 2020
Quarantine & Chill
C.K. . family . fiction . health . UncategorizedWe are really on week two because we spent most of Spring Break “quarantined” as well. Here’s some highlights and lowlights… The week started off pretty crappy with me trying to “homeschool” the kids myself. We didn’t have any work yet, but I decided that “momschool” would be in session from day one. We were
Written by Kristin Sample on April 10, 2018
Walt the Crossing Guard isn’t there…and I’m beside myself
motherhood . texas . UncategorizedWe’ve arrived at a sad hiatus in our tales from the school drop-off/pick-up carpool lanes. I’ve written about him before—our beloved crossing guard at Jackson’s elementary school, the Godfather of School Intersections. Actually, my first post about Walt was largely satirical. He had reprimanded me, wielding his whistle like a whip. But I wrote it
Written by Kristin Sample on January 25, 2018
The Yahoo Mom Group…you know what I’m talking ’bout.
motherhood . texas . UncategorizedI’ve written a short story version of this and submitted it to McSweeney’s. If I get published, we will all be famous. Stop. Collaborate. And listen. These words, spoken by lyricist and philosopher and house renovator Vanilla Ice, are basically the main tenants of any good Yahoo or Facebook group for moms. We help each
Written by Kristin Sample on October 6, 2017
A Brave New Pug
family . health . pets . texas . UncategorizedThatcher had surgery yesterday. She had a small skin cancer tumor on her chest. The vet, who I really like, used phrases like “mastic cells” and “clean surgical margins” And I used phrases like “cost” and “bill.” Go ahead and judge. But yes, with an 11-year-old pug, I have some concerns about spending good money
Written by Kristin Sample on September 26, 2017
My dentist, book clubs, and Jump Rope for the Heart
education . family . health . motherhood . texas . UncategorizedI’ll be honest. This post is just one big lead up to how much I dislike Jump Rope for the Heart. I went to the dentist yesterday. I love the office but they are a chatty bunch. The dentist, Dr. Rooster-in-the-hen-house, is a friendly, older man with a sanguine face and a deep abiding respect
Written by Kristin Sample on September 15, 2017
You, Sir, are kicked out of “The Menagerie”
motherhood . texas . Uncategorized“He just blowed for you,” Darcy said from the back seat, eyes wide and still confusing her prepositions. Were we in trouble? He doesn’t look happy. Well, I pissed off the new crossing guard at Jackson’s school this morning. He’s a man in his 60s with a handheld stop sign and a whistle he’s not a afraid
Written by Kristin Sample on September 13, 2017
Grandma Pug, her physical, and my healthy distrust of cats
pets . Uncategorized“Be right back,” the vet tech says smiling as he closes the exam room door. No, you won’t be right back. Just tell me about how long I’ll be waiting on you. You have no intentions of being right back. The lies begin. And with that, Doug leaves me and Thatcher in the sixty degree exam room with it’s
The opening chords of Fifth Harmony’s “Work from Home” trigger a hysterical reaction in both of my children. Darcy closes her eyes (a classic Darcy dance move) and begins conducting an invisible orchestra of synthesizers. And Jackson hides behind a “curtain,” or whatever piece of furniture will hide him adequately so he can make a big