I absolutely love his anecdote in this chapter. It reminds of my days working on the Nutcracker at Sacred Heart and of more recent days working on the school musical with the wonderful students at Preston High School. Dance kids / theatre kids are such a unique breed. They are quirky and passionate about what they do.

P.S. In a few days, I’ll be posting Matt Tracy’s first appearance as a narrator. Don’t miss it.

Chapter 10

Wouldn’t It Be Loverly?

(BEN)

            I dropped off Taylor and started heading for Siobhan’s. But my mom called and I got detoured—pick up Adam at the train station. And then I got, why don’t you come here for dinner? When I protested, she used her maternal powers to glamour me. Pot Roast with a side of guilt.

By the time I got over to the Tracy mansion, it was really late. I couldn’t wait to see Siobhan. The last time I saw my fiancée was back in September. She came up for another wedding on Long Island. More high school friends getting hitched. Even with a wedding to plan, Siobhan puts school first. Jacquelyn would fly her up here every weekend but Siobhan won’t have it.

I walked in through the back door by the kitchen. Gunner was at the counter cutting up something for his dogs. Huge Dobermans. He nodded—the usual nod that means he doesn’t want to talk to me—and looked back at the cutting board. The dogs peered at me too, one eye on the meat in Gunner’s hands, one eye on the visitor. Before I could say any pleasantries, Gunner said, “Siobhan is in the media room” without looking up. “Thanks,” I muttered as I scooted by the Dobermans.

I went down to the basement and at the far end of the hallway, the TRacys had this awesome media room. It had a drop down screen and a projector and a bunch of built-in recliners. Siobhan was sitting dead center, DVDs and VHS tapes strewn all around her. A pad in her hand and two pens sticking out of her ponytail. She didn’t even noticed me come in. She was engrossed in the video. It was our junior year production of My Fair Lady. Me and Siobhan and Kylie were in it. Taylor made the tape for us. We had a good copy from the school but Taylor’s was much better. We got his idiotic commentary and Matt’s snarky remarks throughout the whole play. It was at a part where Kylie had to speak and the camera turned to Matt who watched intently. After about five awkward seconds of Matt on candid camera, Taylor said, “Kylie Baines takes the stage.” Then he pointed the camera at Matt’s crotch and added, “And Matt gets a boner.” Matt punched Taylor in the stomach and whispered loudly “Dude! Don’t be a dick.” The camera went back to the stage and back to Matt.

Then Matt snatched the camera out of Taylor’s hands and said, “Taylor, we got to tape this. Or else my brat sister will freak that we missed one second of her precious high school musical.”

Taylor laughed, “Bro, she’s gonna be pissed now anyway—you called her a brat on the tape.”

I leaned against the wall in the back of the room for a few minutes. I got kind of nostalgic myself. I just started thinking about how long Siobhan and I have been together, about how long everyone’s been friends.

*                      *                      *

It was only a week after the twins 15^th birthday party that I mustered up the confidence to ask out Siobhan. Well, I really didn’t ask her out on a date. She broke her wrist so I brought her flowers. It was my mom’s idea. I didn’t talk to my mom about that stuff—she just eavesdropped a whole lot. We called her the mole. Little by little she got her information, then she chose the right moment to strike. You know how Jewish mothers can be.

So, I brought Siobhan flowers in school. I gave them to her in homeroom. After she ripped out half the flowers she didn’t like (claiming allergies), she told me simply “yes.”

“Yes to what?”

“Yes, of course, I’ll be your girlfriend.”

The next few weeks after that were pretty fun. We went out a lot with Matt and Taylor and Kylie. Taylor was a total fifth wheel and acted like a schmuck because of it.

Matt really only talked to Kylie. He even blew off me and Taylor. He would find things to tell her. I could tell he liked her. But Siobhan was the first to point it out. “Did you see how my sneaky brother muscled his way into sitting between me and Kylie? We always sit together. Always. Before you, Ben,” she muttered as we left the movie theatre one night. I laughed that she made a point of telling me that she would rather sit next to Kylie at the movies instead of me.

She went on, “And when we got to the movies, Matt even suggested the same movie Kylie told me she wanted to see this week in school. Did you notice how Taylor didn’t want to go see it and Matt ignored him? By the way, we are so the easy-going ones of the group, right? Everyone’s all obsessed with getting what they want all the time.” Siobhan is anything but easy-going. In fact, she gets pretty pissed when someone questions her easy-going-ness. But, I’m getting sidetracked.

By the time play practice was in full swing that year (meaning rehearsals everyday after school till 6:30 and on Saturdays for a few hours in the morning—OLV took the play really seriously), I could tell for myself that Matt liked Kylie. And Siobhan and me were fairly sure that Kylie liked Matt too.

One play practice, Matt even came to see Kylie. He would never be caught dead at play practice for two reasons:  one, he thought the play would make him gay and two, he feared the wrath of our music teacher Sister Paula.

Still, Matt Tracy came into the play practice (an obvious attempt at conquering his fears of the play’s transformative effects and Sister Paula). Announcing his arrival, he called to me from the back of the auditorium, “Ben, are you gay or something? What are you wearing?”

“He’s Professor Henry Higgins, Matt. Don’t you like the cool hat your mom donated?” Kylie replied. We walked up the aisle together. “Your mom donated these gloves too,” she moved her hands dramatically through the air to show off her costume.

“Hey, Kylie. You don’t have to come to his defense. I’m cool with Ben’s…lifestyle choice.” Matt said, trying to get a laugh.

“Lifestyle choice? Cute, Matt.” Kylie returned.

To antagonize Matt, I started singing a New Kids on the Block song. (Don’t judge me. Back in sixth grade, Matt said that “The Right Stuff” was the best song of all time. And he will never forget making that statement as long as myself and Taylor are around.)

“The first kiss was a sweet kiss. The second kiss had a twist. The third and the four kiss…I don’t wanna miss. I could see it in your walk…” I started singing loudly, channeling Jordan Knight.

“Oh my God. Everyone, this kid is definitely gay. He just busted out a New Kids song, dance moves and all,” Matt said, looking around if anyone else was watching my impromptu music video.

“Hey, Sister Paula, Ben’s got some awesome dance moves he wants to put in the play.” Kylie yelled across the auditorium. Sister Paula, who was directing practicing a scene with Siobhan and some other students, nodded like Kylie said something good then just brushed her off like “Yes, yes, dear, that’s a great idea…for later.”

“Kylie, don’t make her look over here. She hates me. She’s gonna scream if she sees me here.” Matt warned.

“Really, Matt?” Then to Sister Paula, “Sister, big news, Matt Tracy came to try-out for the play! You should let him be Ben’s understudy or something.”

“KYLIE!” Matt turned beat red. He backed into the darkness of the mezzanine. Then he whispered, “What are you trying to do?”

“So you didn’t come here to try out for the musical? Ben, I think that Matthew Tracy must be here to see yours truly. Did you come to see me, Matt?”

She hugged him. “Aww. Shh, don’t speak. I know you came to see me and I think you’re sweet. A little creepy, but sweet.” He didn’t hug her back but I could tell he was enjoying the attention. He’s just such a weirdo with his emotions sometimes. Maybe being in the play every year would have helped him “get in touch with his feelings” as S.J. would say. Siobhan says that I am very emotionally available. Sometimes I think that means she thinks I’m a big wimp but I’m not entirely sure.

“Kylie, hate to break it to ya but I’m here to pick up Siobhan. My mom is outside waiting.” He broke free of her hug. Kylie looked a little dejected. I had to step in and help her out.
“Matt, practice ends at 6:30.”

“So?”

“It’s 5:45.” I said, looking at my fake pocketwatch attached to my Henry-Higgins vest.

“Maybe my mom has it wrong.”

“Doubt it. Maybe she has it right.”  I thought I had him but I realized that made no sense. I still liked saying it. It felt all twilight-zone-ish.

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“I don’t know.” I replied. He had me there.

Siobhan walked up and started in on him. “Ooh, look who it is. Trying to get a sneak peak before opening night or…” Then with an overly dramatic turn of her head, she looked at Kylie, who was walking away by now.

“She’s right dude. Why are you such a loser sometimes?” I said.

“Why are you such a weenie all the time?” Siobhan pushed even more. “Ya know Matt, she totally likes you. She talked about you a few times today. She even defended you when I was making fun of you.”

“Thanks, sis. Glad to hear that you make fun of me with your friends in your spare time.”

“Don’t change the subject on me,” Siobhan narrowed her eyes.

“Who’s changing the subj…”

Siobhan interrupted him. All of sudden she got serious. Siobhan hates when people dance around an issue. “Matt, you’ve got one of the hottest girls in the school right there. I’m a girl and I think Kylie is hot. So, what’s up? Are you gonna man up and ask her out or are you just going to be a baby and make us all suffer?”

“Who is suffering? My God, Siobhan. You are such a drama queen. Kylie is nice. But…”

“But what?” Her eyes widened.

Matt looked over at Kylie who was down by the piano talking to some of the other kids in the play. “It’s just that. Kylie is nice and pretty.”

Siobhan was not going to let up, “Gee, Matt, I must be missing something then. Hmm. Ben, what is missing from this situation? Kylie is good-looking, nice, funny, and she likes Matt. Oh, and that last part is more than I can say for most girls, brother.”

“Siobhan, shut up and me finish.”

“Do it then!”

“Whatever.” Matt walked off. As he left, he said, “Mom’s outside.”

I followed him but Matt was already pissed, “Dude, leave me alone. I came in to hang out with everyone and…and I don’t want to be seen outside with you in your gay costume.”

“Matt, it’s a freaking suit.”

“You look like Sherlock Holmes or something,” he muttered.

“I’m Professor Henry Higgins! It’s like the biggest part in the show. I sing like three songs.”

“Whatever dude. You look like my dad then.”

“Listen, man, I know you don’t want to answer this question or hear any of this but why you don’t just ask her out.”

He sighed really big. He wasn’t cursing me out so I figured I’d continue, “Here’s what I see. And don’t look at me like that. You’re my boy for a long time now. When you talk to Kylie, you look like you’re happy talking to her. When you look at Kylie, you look like you like what you’re looking at. This doesn’t have to be as difficult as you’re making it.”

“You just want me to ask out Kylie because that will complete our little double-date quadrangle or whatever.”

“What the fuck is a quadrangle?”

“It’s a triangle with four sides.”

“Isn’t that a square?”

“Whatever, screw it. Point is—you just want me and Kylie to go out because you and Siobhan are going out.”

“No. See that’s where you’re wrong. Me and Siobhan want you and Kylie to go out because clearly you and Kylie want to be going out.”

“She doesn’t like me.”

“Yeah, she does.”

“She likes people like Bret  Dillon.”

“Wow, Matt, you are so clever. That’s exactly right. She likes stupid meatheads who cheat on her. She must be waiting for the next Bret Dillon to come along.”

“Whatever man.”

Just then, Kylie came outside to get me. I couldn’t have asked for a better coincidence. “Benny! Sister Paula wants you inside. You have to do some song with one of the seniors.”

“Okay.” And then I had a brilliant idea so I said,  “Hey, Kylie!”

“What? Benny, it’s freezing. Come inside.” She laughed and jogged to keep warm.

“Kylie, come here. Matt wants to talk to you about…something.” I tried to think of something good to fill the “something” but I wasn’t as quick as I am now. So, I just ran away so I could get to the door before Matt started in with me.

“Ben, what the?” Matt scrambled to find an excuse but Kylie was walking towards him.

As I walked away I heard Kylie say something about going inside to talk. Then I heard Matt say, “Here, take my jacket. You look cold.”

                                    *                                  *                                  *

            “Ben…Ben…Uh, Ben.”

“What?” I started walking toward Siobhan who was peering at me over her shoulder, a little confused and a little annoyed.

“I called your name like fifty times. You were totally zoned out.”

“I guess.” I leaned in and she kissed me firmly on the lips. Then she half stood up from one of the recliners in the media room and gave me a hug. “I missed you, Benny.”

“I missed you too, babe.” Then I looked at the tapes, “What have you got here?”

“Like you don’t know,” she pushed my shoulder gently. “I was just watching your spectacular performance as Henry Higgins. Rex Harrison would be jealous.”

“Very funny. What are you doing with all these?”

“I’m finding some footage or the video montage. You know. The video montage we’re playing during the cocktail hour?”

I didn’t know about any audio-visual aids Siobhan had planned for the wedding. But I just nodded like I knew exactly what she was talking about. “Nice, S.J. It will be really nice.”

“You have absolutely no idea what I’m talking about, do you?” She squinted a bit and pretended to get mad, then smiled.

“Nope.” I laughed.

“Well, I’m trying to find some video of us. I thought it would be nice to show people how long we’ve been together.” Then she pushed a few tapes around on the floor. She picked up a few of them and groaned, “But you wouldn’t believe how much video we have of Matt and Kylie.” Siobhan gestured real big with her hands (something dramatic was coming), “It’s like they were the only focus of our lives. Like we were all just moons orbiting the Matt and Kylie sun. Like we were cameos in some big romantic comedy about them. Stupid one-sided supporting characters.” She stopped, “What? You don’t agree with me.”

“I just don’t think that the sun has moons orbiting it. But I could be wrong.”

“That’s not the point, Ben. And now you made plans with her for Saturday. And we have to trick my brother into going. And then get them back together.”

There was no use in even attempting to deny Siobhan this project. There was no use in pointing out that she just complained about her brother and his ex-girlfriend consuming her life. There was only one thing I could do in this instance—change the subject.

“Did your brother land yet?” (Okay, it wasn’t a complete subject change.)

“Oh shit. He’s totally landing in like ten minutes. I’ve got to get going.” She shuffled the tapes into a pile and starting pulling on her boots. I didn’t even flinch.

“Isn’t your dad sending the car?”

“No, I told Daddy I wanted to pick up Matt.” She pulled some cushions aside and grabbed her cell phone.
“Siobhan, you and the airport and the driving and the nighttime are not a good combination.”

“Shut up.” She returned as she pulled her head through the neck of a gray cashmere sweater. Siobhan looked at her phone and said to herself, “No text back yet.”

“What?”

“Matt didn’t text me back yet. I sent him a text about how you saw Kylie and we are going out on Saturday.”

“I thought we needed to trick him into coming on Saturday.”

“We can still do that. That’s why you’re going to come with me.” She tossed her car keys at me. “We can work out a plan on the way to JFK.”

“If you already told him, Kylie Baines is going to be there, he’s not going to come.” I complained as I followed her up the stairs.

She stopped and abruptly turned, “Correction. That’s precisely why he will come.” She pointed at herself then I me, “See. Half full. Half empty.”

Afterwards, some of the ladies from the class took me out to lunch. They also gave me Good Night, California (a new regional version of Good Night, Moon for future “Samplers.”) I totally lost it. I don’t even know why–the tears were flowing. The gesture was so sweet. I will truly miss Jill’s class and those ladies.

If you’re ever in LA and looking for a great jazz class, be sure to take Jill’s class. Her Luigi-style jazz class is a great workout, a great workout to say the least. She’s a phenomenal teacher. I credit her with teaching me that I can do this for the rest of my life as long as I take care of my body. Some teachers don’t push self-preservation and feeling how your body is different each day. A little twinge in your lower back should be attended to, not ignored. If you ignore it long enough, that little twinge becomes severe pain and all of sudden you can’t wear high heels anymore or sit in certain desk chairs for long periods of time. I think I’m over the whole self-inflicted punishment makes you better. I got a bad right ankle from that attitude.

The latter happened time and time again. I really hate it when judges on those shows use superlatives (the best cast, the best hip-hop dancer they’ve ever seen, the best routine of the season). On SYTYCD, the judges have clear favorites and use a lot of their screen time to stroke the choreographers’ egos. Don’t tell me who I’m supposed to like. And stop saying how brilliant Mia Michaels is. The woman is certifiably insane.

While this season wasn’t as good as seasons past, it was not bereft of talent either. In fact, I think Joshua is one of the best and most relatable dancers to ever grace the stage.

An interesting anecdote–this past year has been a rough ride for CK and I. When I was feeling particularly down, I would play certain songs in my car as I drove to an event for TV Squad or todance class. I know it’s cheesy but for some reason, Broadway songs always made me feel better. Perhaps it’s because each song is part of a narrative and I could escape if just for a moment into that story. I played “Ease on Down the Road” a lot this year. Those of you who know the lyrics can understand why. Weird how things work out sometimes.

If any of you are in the Santa Monica area and looking for a great dance class (fantastic warm-up, great combinations), you should definitely check out her class.