I did a french manicure on myself yesterday. It’s mediocre at best but I’m determined to get better at it as painting one’s nails is an important skill. Right up there with changing tires, making a good cup of coffee and writing novels.

And we went to the dentist today. She was good but everyone kept asking if the music was okay (it was reggae and then this weird house music). And I got a weird head massage. Effing Los Angeles. Everything turned out alright though. I have to get this deep-cleaning thing because my gums are messed up (so says Dr. Toothbrush). It’s going to cost a boatload of money but I have to do it. You can break your arm and the bones will reconnect and be okay but teeth? Once you lose a tooth, you’re one step closer to going on the Jerry Springer show. Just sayin’.

I’m also happy that despite the weird office practices, that I still have my kidneys and they didn’t turn out to be vampires.